(“Virtual Calendar”)
“Giminystės papročiai” - http://day.lt/gimines
(“Family/Kinship Customs”)
According to ancient Lithuanian tradition, weddings were
composed of several phases:
Žvalgytuvės, Piršlybos, Sužieduotuvės,
Mergvakaris, Vestuvių puota.
Reconnaissance,
Matchmaker‘s Offer, Engagement, Girls‘ Evening, Wedding Banquet.
Žvalgytuvės
The young man and the piršlys (matchmaker) rode to the young lady’s house to ‘have a
look”. While the prospective bride and groom furthered their acquaintance, the matchmaker
negotiated with the young lady’s parents, about her dowry. In the old days, it
sometimes happened that the Žvalgytuvės was the first
time the young pair set eyes on each other, after the groom’s parents had
decided it was time for him to marry. Other times, the fellow had already
selected a girl, and knew in advance,
where they were going for Žvalgytuvių. Whatever
the circumstances, it was the matchmaker’s responsibility to draw up an
agreement that would be beneficial to the groom and his parents. The Bride‘s kraitis
(dowry or hope chest) was made up of the maiden‘s handiwork - woven and
embroidered items which she accumulated from adolescence; the wealth or
property which her parents had saved for her; and sometimes even some domestic
animals.
Piršlybos
This was the
second visit by the groom and matchmaker to the bride‘s home. Its specific purpose was to make the match - to ask the bride‘s
parents for her hand. Members of the bride‘s household arranged a series of trials
for the groom and matchmaker. They would be tested with various riddles and
puzzles, which they were required to answer. The piršlys in his turn would praise his client, the groom, as a
“man of stature and vigor”, swearing that his home “ran with
rivers of honey”, that “tree branches were bowed down with the weight of
sausages hung to dry”, etc., etc. Later, the piršlys would sit down with the parents and again
discuss the dowry. If all was in agreement, a date would be fixed for the Sužieduotuves.
Sužieduotuvės
The parents of
both bride and groom gathered for the Sužieduotuves
(Engagement). The piršlys
matched the pair, then put the engagement ring on the girl’s finger, confirming
the agreement. Gifts were exchanged. The groom often gave the bride a towel
rack or decorative spindle that he had carved himself, or, perhaps, some pretty ornament - a necklace or a
pin. The bride gave items of her own work
- woven sashes or neckties, embroidered handkerchiefs, a saddle blanket, etc. In this way, the pair demonstrated their
industriousness to each other and their families. The parents also received
gifts. The bride would give her mother, and her future mother-in-law (anyta), woven towels, embroidered
scarves, aprons or pillowcases, or other handiwork. Her father and future
father-in-law (uošvis) would be
given knit stockings, gloves or sweaters, etc. Having exchanged all the gifts, everyone would
sit around the table to discuss the wedding plans, singing and simply enjoying themselves.
Usually, in
modern times, the young man alone will press his suit with his intended, and
himself put the engagement ring on her finger. Sometimes, he will address her
parents, asking for her hand. Only rarely, will a young man ask a friend to act
as his matchmaker. But more often, these days, the pair will make their own
plans and later inform their parents.
Mergvakaris
This evening, the
bride bid farewell to her girlhood, and her friends gathered to see her off to
her new life. Her closest friends would be there, her bridesmaids, and
sometimes all the girls of the village. The bridesmaids brought cakes they had
baked themselves. The most popular of these was the “kasos pyragas” (braided cake),
symbolizing the young bride’s farewell to her childish plaits. The senior, or
maid of honor, was responsible for organizing the evening. She led the girls in
singing mergvakaris songs, consoled
the bride, and taught some dances. She, and possibly, all the bridesmaids, wove
wreaths of rūta, (rue) and
the best one was chosen as the
bridal wreath. The wreath of rūta
was the symbol of the maiden’s innocence and purity, and folk songs
touched on this theme often: “Bernelis sutrypė rūtų
darželį” …. (My sweetheart has trampled my garden of rūta) …. “Man
rūtelė tik viena, o bernelių daug yra”…. (I have only
one dear little rūta,
but of sweethearts there are many), etc.
The finished bridal wreath of rue was placed on the bride’s head, and
each girl in turn spoke of her sadness that she would part from them, and
condoled with the bride on the hard new life she was preparing to enter.
During mergvakaris,
the girls would enjoy circle dances, discuss the bridesmaids’ outfits, and
prepare gifts for their escorts (pabroliai).
The bride would give each of her friends a farewell gift - a
colorful sash that she wove herself. In olden days, sashes were widely used,
and every young girl would weave as many as she could. Both men and women wore
them tied about their waists, infants were swaddled in them, and they even
decorated horses. It was considered a sign of great honor, to bestow a sash of
one’s own making on a guest. As the evening came to an end, the bride
symbolically bid goodbye to her flower garden, which she had tended all through
her youth.
Vestuvių puota
Earlier, weddings
were usually celebrated in the bride‘s parents‘ home. Careful and thorough
preparations were made for the reception, and the house was decorated. The horses chosen to transport the young pair
were hung with jingling bells, and their manes were combed. The
piršlys and svočia were
distinguished by their dress. The matchmaker usually wore a
fancifully-decorated high-crowned hat. The svočia (elder hostess) carried a large woven wicker bag
holding gifts. These two individuals conducted the entire wedding celebration.
First, the bride
and groom had to undergo various tests. For example, the bride was required to
peel a potato, and the groom had to chop up some firewood. The piršlys and svočia were the young pair‘s teachers.
To verify that a
bridge was sound, the piršlys carried
the svočia across. The groom
would then carry the bride across that bridge. The “teachers” gave the
bride and groom “lessons” on sleeping together on a narrow bench, and on how to
kiss.
These days, the piršlys and svočia
function as witnesses, signing the wedding document confirming the
marriage, which takes place either at a “wedding palace“ or in a church. But they still organize the
activities of the evening’s wedding reception. Their duty is to entertain the
gathering. Many of their traditional tasks and tricks have survived to modern
times, though their forms have changed to fit the current day.
The traditional “hanging” of the matchmaker takes place on
the second day of the wedding celebration.
A group of guests, suspecting that the matchmaker has chosen a bad
husband for their friend the bride, seize the fellow, deciding to hang him. At first he attempts to justify himself, but
then he reads aloud a humorous “last will and testament”. He is saved from
hanging by the bride, who ties her sash around him, as a sign of her respect
and gratitude. Earlier, the svočia was likewise
punished, when a group of guests “stole” her from the matchmaker and tried to
drown her in a large bowl or trough. The bride saved this lady as well, by
looping a sash around her shoulder, and tying it at her waist. While the bride and groom were occupied
helping the piršlys and svočia, their table is
taken over by a pair of imposters (persirengėliai). Often, it is a man dressed as the bride, and a woman dressed as
the groom, who contend that this is indeed their wedding party. The
young bride and groom find that they must prove that this is THEIR
wedding party, by paying ransom to regain their seats. In this they are helped by the svočia, who digs into her big bag to produce the
required “bribes”, rescuing the entire celebration.
***********************
Translator’s Note: While we can lament the loss of
age-old traditions and the closeness of Lithuanian village life, since so many
people are leaving the kaima (countryside) for life in the city, it’s good to
know that many of these customs survive and are still observed, even in a
modern wedding celebration. I speak personally, having viewed a very interesting and
entertaining family video of a cousin’s wedding, which took place in Panevezys.
Among a greatly-expanded repertoire of very amusing tricks and jokes, I
recognized many of these same traditions, which brought a smile to my heart.
Source:
“Giminystės papročiai” (“Family/Kinship
Customs”)
By gracious permission of the
Webmasters in Lithuania http://day.lt/gimines
Published in Bridges June
2007
Sent TalesnStories July 2008